My Journey #1

First and foremost, I'm sorry that I have not been keeping up to date with my blog. I guess you can say that "life got in the way." I've been working seven (7) days a week, managing to keep up with my two online summer classes, and attempting to have a social life. Now that I am leaving one of my jobs, I should be able to keep this updated better.
Anyway, the title of this post is called "My Journey #1." I have been contemplating for a while on where I should take this blog and I couldn't really find a direction, so I came to the conclusion that I am just going to write. We already went into my dealings with Tourette's, so now I guess we can go into what really started to go downhill for me in the summer of 2010 and the beginning of the school year.
Last summer is when it all came crumbling down. My mom and I decided to move out of my house because conflict with my parents grew to be unreasonable. We had (and still have) the most gracious, thoughtful, and supportive family and friends we could ask for. My aunt and uncle provided us with the opportunity to move in with them. We had no choice but to accept. I can speak for myself and for my mom that we will be FOREVER grateful to them and the rest of our family. This and the harassment I received because of my Tourette's was hard enough, because all I wanted to do was live in my house, in my town near my friends.
The summer went on, and I finally left for school. I couldn't have been more excited for school. I was doing a major I was really interested in (Radio/TV/Film), I was living with my friends in the upperclassmen housing, and I had my girlfriend. What I was most happy about was that I was getting away from the reality that was my home life and escaping to a place where I knew I would be distracted from it, but then here it goes... Not even a month after school started, my girlfriend and I broke up and that was the icing on the cake for me. This put the final straw on my debacle of a life, and I didn't want to live like this anymore. I stopped going to class, I didn't eat any food for 24 hours straight, slept the entire day and night, didn't shower, and just didn't care about me. My parents didn't understand the depth of how depressed I was, until something happened one night and the next morning. The next part of this may be a bit tense, for the record.
I will remember this night for the rest of my life. It was 1 in the morning and I was trying to fall asleep, but I couldn't get the thought of killing myself off of my mind. I was trying to just block it out and fall asleep, but the idea just seemed to be my only way out. It was raining out. Everyone in my apartment was asleep. (This is a rarity). I finally got out of bed and walked outside. The only thing I could think of was to jump off the Mid-Hudson bridge in Poughkeespie. I was fighting with myself, my life, and apparently the inner demon that had taken over my mind. I finally went outside, sat in the rain and cried. I e-mailed my mom, dad, and psychologist the next day and told them what I had contemplated. The immediate decision was made to get me out of school that day. I was admitted into a hospital that Monday, and my life was changed from that point forward...